A Story About Three Types of Plant People

I saw a face book cartoon that showed two types of Plant People.  The first was “my plant is dying” with a picture of a plant with one leaf browning.  The second was “ I can save it” with a picture of a very dead plant .  I submit that there are three types of people the third being “I can’t bear to watch it die or I hide my failures.”  Today, I want to help each of these types of plant owners, including myself.

For those of us who panic when our plants show signs of distress, I have a few suggestions. 

  1. Take a deep breath. You can do this!
  2. Touch the soil to determine if it is dry or perhaps your plants are swimming in water. If dry water your plant slowly, once the water is absorbed, you can add a little more water.  If your soil is too wet you can try absorbing the water with paper towels.  If It is standing in water you can carefully tip the planter to one side and drain some in to a bowl.
  3. If watering isn’t a problem, ask yourself if the lighting where your plant is has changed.  You can always try relocating it.
  4. Another idea is to check you heating / cooling ventilation.  With the change of the seasons sometimes systems set on auto can result in hot or cold air blowing on your plant. Again, you can try relocating the plant.
  5. Of course, after all of this due diligence it could simply be a leaf that has matured and needs to be removed.  Please double check your plant for a few days to make sure all is well.

Now for the seriously optimistic or delusional. 

  1. Take a deep breath. You can do this!
  2. Carefully examine your plant for any sign of green excluding mold as an option here.
  3. Gently take the plant and container to your compost bin.
  4. Say a few words of kindness and assure it that it will continue to enrich the world as compost.
  5. Remove plant from pot and gently place plant in compost bin.
  6. Toss pot in trash.
  7. Allow your self a few minutes to remember better days then quote  our motto “we can always buy more!”

We have now come to my own deep dark secret.  I am weak, I can’t bear to watch a plant slowly and succumb to the compost bin.  Plus, do we really want to stare at our failures.  It’s best to put them in the out of sight and therefore out of mind spot.

  1. Take a deep breath. You can do this!
  2. Take a yard waste bag and trash bag to your plant cemetery.
  3. Empty the first plant into the yard waste bag.  Toss the empty pot into the trash or put aside for reuse if it is really nice pot.
  4. Repeat as many times as necessary.
  5. Dispose of both bags appropriately.
  6. Now repeat our motto “we can always buy more plants.”

I hope these suggestions help save a few  of your  plants and reduce stress or clutter in your home. Maybe I even made you laugh a little bit.  Till the next time remember deep breathing and plant shopping are compatible.

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